Art of My Life

DRAWING WRINKLES AND LINE OF AGES.

2011-11-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

SELF PORTRAIT

Nowadays life was low and cool but always full of blessing.Even without much wealth....I feel good enough,healthy enough,happy enough and full of joy. Today is a lazy day, not much thing to do in my shop so I just sat down and started to look into a small broken mirror on my desk.A face with the sign of aging .I realized that I am getting old and can't hardly see clearly all those wrinkles without squinting my eye.I feel like I should document this moment so I took a pen and start to scratch on the a4 paper in front of me.

Starting with the small eye,it looks bigger though because of the lens, bigger nose,bigger ears,overall head with less hair,collecting all those clear wrinkles near the nose under the eyes....within 45 minutes...
a self portrait of me.

CORETAN KISAH KASIH AYAH PADA BONDA HALIJAH.

2011-09-12T17:37:00.000-07:00

Di pagi hari yang suram dlm bulan November 1993.....

Hari pulangnya ibunda Halijah bt Md Dali ke Rahmatullah, setelah sekian lama mengharungi sakit kanser. Ibunda tersayang yang telah memelihara aku dan adikku semenjak aku berusia 9 tahun hinggalah dewasa.Pada paginya, jenazah Ibu selamat dikebumikan berdekatan dengan kubur arwah abangku, Munshi bin Abdullah.

Petang...di ruang tamu....

Hari dah beransur senja, Ayah terbaring disofa rotan, keletihan akibat sehari suntuk melayan tamu.Aku yang duduk paling hampir dengan Ayah hanya memerhati keadaan Ayah.Ayah kelihatan sugul.Lewat senja muncul lagi tetamu memberi salam, Ayah berpaling menjawab salam dan terus bersimpuh menggagahi senyum sambil melayan tamu. Dalam berbual Ayah berpaling ke dapur....seperti mencari sesuatu, kedua kalinya dia berpaling dipanggilnya "Jah! Jahh!!ada orang mai nii...buatla kopi." Sayunya aku.....mengetap bibir menahan airmata.Aku separuh berbisik....sambil kusentuh tangannya"Ayahh...mak kan dah tak dakk...."Ayah tersipu sambil tersenyum "Laa...ayah lupa laa!!".

Dalam hati....

Kasih Ibu Halijah masih panas berbunga,tak terasa hilang disisi Ayah.Kasih seorang isteri yang solehah akan sentiasa dikenang suami.Bagai rusuk yang patah, sakitnya pasti hilang dan sembuh jua.Ibu Halijah orangnya penyabar dan selalu ketawa membalas kerenah Ayah.Tentunya Ayah sering merindui hilai tawa ibu Halijah.Lagenda hidup Ayah sudah 3 kali dalam hidup Ayah bercerai mati dengan isteri tersayang.Sebak sangat waktu itu memikirkan hari hari yg mendatang pasti tak seindah lagi waktu bersama orang yang kupanggil emak...

Dan kini.....

Ayah juga telah kembali ke Rahmatullah.....diusia gemilang 82 tahun.Namun bicara makna kasih dari Ayah diakhir akhir usianya akan sentiasa terpahat di hati dan terngiang-ngiang di telinga. Pada Ayah, kasih pada seseorang bukanlah untuk dibanding-bangdingkan.Hanya hati kita saja yang mengetahuinya.Kasih dan sayang ini ada banyak sangat dan ianya hanyalah untuk diberi....kalau orang sayang kita,kita seribu kali lagi sayang...kalau orang dah tak suka nak buat apa!....namun aku juga sedar dari bicara Ayah Ibu Halijah adalah seorang kekasih yg paling disanjung.....

A PHOTO IN MY WALLET.

2011-05-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

SWEET LITTLE SARAH AND OMAR.

MY SWEET ARGENTINA.....

Had been keeping this photo for more than 10 years in my wallet.The wallet actually had changed twice but the photo keep on staying inside the new wallet.At that time my little girl, Sarah was only 2 years old and my little boy, Omar was only 6 years old.

The story goes like this....in September 1999, my wife,my kids and I went back to Mexico for a vacation.It was supposed to be a two week vacation but my wife decided to stay longer and I understand since she will need more time to be with her parent.After all it had been 7 years since I had married to her and brought her back to Malaysia so it is consider appropriate and agreeable that I let her stay as long as she wants.

After two weeks I came back alone and continue working.The first few weeks was fine as I continue to be very busy into my job...but then little by little I started to miss them especially my kids.My longing for them make me call them almost every night even just for a few minutes.Imagine a trunk call from Malaysia to Mexico every night.At the end of the month the bill came knocking at RM 500!!! I've decided that I must call them once in 5 days.

The longing start to take its toll on me,I started to feel sorrow and very lonely.Every night I just staring at this photo in my wallet and tears start dropping....Oh God!I'm crying and I miss them very much.I want to hug them,play with them and here them laughing.Deep inside I am very worried that my wife will not be coming back!!even though she had promised that she'll be back.I love her very much so I need to persevere and stay calm.....alone at night...!!

Somewhere in Feb 2000, I suddenly collapsed at work and was rushed to hospitals unconscious.They made me slept in the emergency room almost the whole day.At 6.00 p.m they wake me up and I was asked to go home.The doctor's diagnosed was..... too much stress,over worked and low blood pressure.The very same night my wife give me a call and started to asked if I'm okay or not? I lied to her saying that I'm fine and busy.To my surprised, she said that she know that I lied because her 'godmother' said that I was very sick and cried every night. Hey!!??they too had some kind of mumbo jumbo???

Only by March 2000, my wife started to say that she miss me very much and wanted to come home.The very next day I sold my Toyota Van.Then bought a ticket and few days later arrived in Mexico with a mission to bring them all back for good. ....And that was the longest six month that I ever felt in my whole life.......!
......but Mexico....we'll be back cause........ I left half of my heart in Mexico.Hasta la vista!!

PASSING THROUGH THE HIGH SEA.

2011-03-14T10:34:00.000-07:00

This picture were taken probably in late 1989 when I first got to know her.For her this is just a friendly picture but for me it seem like I had captured a cardiac arrest moment every time I see this picture.I wrote about our first encounter in my old post few years back.The very first time I saw her from a window and the only second day I just arrived on Mexican land........the deja vu feeling that I had known her somewhere or somehow.

In 1994 after two years of marriage,expecting our first born baby.The feeling still fresh and vivid.I had to work out station for one week staying at a Putra World Hotel in Kuala Lumpur.I definitely cannot leave her alone for one week so I brought her along.......that is a one very happy face!

1998 with our second child on the way......but where is my boy???

After 17 years of marriage with lesser hair,I still consider marriage is just like jumping on a rubber boat heading straight to Niagara Falls....on a good lucky day you might still survive.....I still manoeuvre hard just like the very beginning .....this is a white water rafting.....!!!la vida loca!

This is 19 years of marriage!! The nagging is still the same but my ears are getting bigger and fluffy.Even if I had a very deepest love for her doesn't mean that there is no struggle at all of controlling oneself from making a fool mistake.I am still learning as always. Why not let your woman be the person in charge or let her be the chief of staff so long as you had your hand on the wheel. Bon Voyage!!!

Bunga Mangga Tumbuh di Dahan.

2011-03-04T06:49:00.000-08:00

Aku memang obses dengan pokok mangga depan rumah aku nii....terutamanya bila ia mula berbunga..mulalah aku sapu sampah,buang daun kering dan buang segala rumput yang tumbuh dibawahnya.Paling syok bila bubuh baja dan berharap buahnya akan lebat dan besar sebesarnya.

Kali ini ia berbunga selepas habis musim hujan dan tiba musim yang dikira panas sangat.Yang hairannya ialah tiba-tiba saja terperasan yang pokok Mangga nii berbunga lebat sangat.Kali ini seluruh pokok ditumbuhi bunga dan sampai didahan pun tumbuh bunga.Biasanya kat hujung ranting saja tapi inilah pertama kali tengok bunga tumbuh di dahan.Daun tak ada tapi terus saja tumbuh bunga.Harap-harap akan jadi buah, membesar dan masak ranum.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, sekiranya ini adalah rezeki keluargaku dari bumimu,Alhamdulillah aku amat bersyukur atas kurniamu.

Livin' La Vida in A Facebook.

2010-10-21T09:44:00.000-07:00

Sarah,Norah,Me and Omar.

Well I guess I got one thing to say that nowadays,I am very well occupied with something else...kind
of a new interest....a new way of life!! I guess...may be we all knew about....a book with many faces.

Facebook!!!yeap!!Facebook seems to take over my free time from my blog the Blogger.Not just my free time but all my family's free time.All four of us had our own Facebook.....just imagine how many time was spend in front of computers.Just like cell phones which seems to be part of our live nowadays,FB too seems to take over the cell phones phenomena and now reign supreme!

The good part is all of us now are well connected with our friends from the past.Our childhood friends suddenly appeared in front of us...in FB I mean...the feeling was joyous..to see our long lost friend with all
the sign of ages.Getting bald,getting fat,geting sick,getting happy with all those marks of ages.Even brothers and sisters are much closer nowadays thanks to FB.We are now globally very well connected.

The bad part is I just afraid that my family and I will get addicted with this new craze but for now it is still under control.Definitely all of you readers have the same experience regarding FB.I believe it had conquered the whole world in such a short time even the founder now considered the fastest young man to become a billionaire including all his partners.What a phenomena!

What else will come into our future we will never know...

Rewinding 1990 Chubu Shin Seisaku Kaigaten-Art Competition in Japan.

2010-07-28T03:37:00.000-07:00

With two of my work and my best friend Yamada Masaya the sculptor.

Opening day at the exhibition hall with Zainon Abdullah the one with camera.

With fellow artist and Ando San looking at my work at the back.

With Fellow artist friend which I had already forgotten their name.

Ms. Matsubara as I recalled but forgotten her real name.

To My Dear Father With Love.

2010-03-04T10:10:00.000-08:00

in loving memory
ABDULLAH B. ISMAIL
1928 - 11th FEB.2010.

Dear Dad,
It had been 22 days since you passed away.I feel that you are still there at home waiting for us.
I knew that your sorrow life history of loosing your loved one cannot be express here in written words.
How you confronts the bitter hardship of taking cares the ten of us is unexplainable.Your unconditional
love for all of us can't hardly be undone.Your deeds to all your friends and colleague incalculable.All your friends was there,everybody was there on your final day.
They will adore your great love forever and eternally.

Dear Dad,
At your golden age,I have seen you waiting for something many times.Your bright eyes turn sad and gloomy.No more talks about knowledge and new things where it use to be.You keep on sighing as if you are missing something that is certain but you just keep on waiting.

Dear dad,
I had imagine your final day many times so that I can be strong and patient.So that I can keep on smiling
even though my heart broken and burst full of tears.But nowadays in the quiet of night I just cry and cry...

Dear dad,
Our home still lingered with laughter as if you are still here.Our house are getting older but I was hoping
that it will still stand stronger in the name of your love until I close my eyes forever.

Dear Dad,
I will now accept reality that you are no more with us.You have gone back to your Creator.
Your honour are dignified till the last of your breath and may God bless your soul oh...my dear father.

PADAMNYA LAMPU HIDUPKU (buat ayah dan ibu tersayang)

2010-02-13T06:12:00.000-08:00

1928 - 11hb Feb. 2010

Haji Abdullah bin Haji Ismail.

PADAMNYA LAMPU HIDUPKU.

Aku lemah meminta pada tuhan
Aku kasih seorang hambanya
Dia sinaran lampu hidupku
tetapi....tuhan lebih kasih dariku
Aku hanya doa melepasnya pergi
menemui kekasihnya sebenar Rabbil Izzati
Sejarah sedih menambah lagi
Ku kehilangan sukar diganti
1975 Disember 30 Selasa pagi
Padamlah lampu hidup penyuluh hati
Di Mekah Almukarramah tanah suci
Aku terpinga-pinga dunia kurasa fana
Detik kenangan bagai mimpi
Dengan penuh kasih kuusap rambutnya
Dengan beribu soalan kupandang wajahnya
Dengan penuh mesra kupicit tubuhnya
Dengan penuh hiba kusuap mulutnya
Dengan penuh kesetiaan kumandinya
Kusuarakan ayat-ayat tuhan ketelinganya
Dengan penuh keyakinan dan keimanan
Aku doakan bertambah ringan

Jom! Jomla! Suara merdu merayu-rayu bertalu-talu
Dapat aku bersamanya
Kutanya kemana?
Dia juga terpinga-pinga entah ke mana??
Kembali kelu seribu bisu
Rahsia Syurga bersamaku.

Hasil Nukilan Haji Abdullah bin Haji Ismail. (3.30 pagi 31hb Dis. 1975)

35 tahun yg lalu dlm hiruk pikuk,kecelaruan dan riuhnya Kota Mekah Almukarramah itulah.....
Ibuku yang tersayang tiba-tiba rebah dalam tidur.Mengejutkan Ayahku yg tercinta, tersedar,celaru bercampur bingung melihat hembusan nafasnya yg terakhir.Suami manalah yg tidak hiba dan bingung, dgn hari yg semakin dekat untuk pulang ke tanahair. Tanggal 30hb Dis. 1975 Ibuku pergi buat selama-lamanya tatkala aku baru berumur sepuluh tahun. Tentu hancur hati Ayah mengenangkan kami dikampung yang 10 orang adik beradik ini dah tak punya Ibu lagi.

Ayah pernah bercerita katanya beberapa hari sebelum ibu meninggal dia sering menyebut jom!jom la!tanpa sebab...bila ditanya..kemana?? ibu diam entah mengapa...
Saat-saat terakhir bersama Ibu disanalah Ayahku tercinta menukilkan bait bait puisi diatas untuk isteri yang tersayang.Lampu hidupnya dah terpadam......Muka terakhir album gambar gambar lama semasa di Mekah dicoretkan puisi ini dengan tulisan Jawi. Dilukiskan peta kubur dimana Ibuku disemadikan.Hiba kami adik beradik dan cucu-cucunya membaca dan menulisnya semula diatas kertas selepas sehari Ayah pulang ke Rahmatullah menemui Al Khaliq Penciptanya. Ayah tersayang pergi di usia emas 82 tahun.Lampu hidup kami bagai terpadam...
tapi sinar kasih Ayah akan sentiasa terang.........

1937 - 30hb Dis. 1975.

Norah bt Yaacob.

GOOD FISHING,A GOOD NICE SLEEP AND A CRAYFISH.

2010-01-03T20:11:00.000-08:00

Agro Resort was a very nice and cool place as usual.A place where we can relax and forgot about hectic life.It feels so good and the air is refreshing and I also realised that it had been years that we never take a sweet and quite vacation anymore. We use to come here a lot few years back when my kid was still a toddler.Since then they like fishing and so does their lovely mommy.

Sleeping was so good that a one hour nap feels like few hours. So very refreshing.......!!How long that I never feel sleeping was this good......and revitalizing.Don't get me wrong, I am not promoting the Resort but I am promoting a good sleep where it really make a difference once in a while.

Fishing was good too.You can see a lot of big fish here but it really hard to get.If you are lucky enough you can get a Crayfish!Who knows?

Bird's eyeview of Kota Bharu,Kelantan December 2009

2009-12-28T23:19:00.000-08:00

I was having a bad 'hair' day this few days.The day is bad but the truth is I am not that bad.I am still alive and kicking. Thanks to God that I am still here breathing air and thanking God on what I still have nowadays.
This is a blessed land!!Malaysian said this is a some sort of "Holy Land' of Malaysia (Serambi Mekah).
I guess this is really true.....most muslim here are very religious.All friends I knew never missed praying five times a day. Even bandits stop operation during 'azan' .
Here......angels are everywhere but then I am pretty sure even ' el diablo' are everywhere at the same time.

During Ramadan, you can feels God's Blessing every day and night.You feel calm.....and tranquil.People's are everywhere buying and selling, praying days and nights. Only recently.......we just knew that 90 kilometer from the beach, there is oil rigs which flushing oil and money days and night to the Federal government for years......The politicians at the same time quarreling about it days and night.......nonstop! Well!.....I guess that is also a blessing in disguise.....

Anyway!I just take a few photo here from the 13th floor of my temporary office.Just imagine 20 or 30 years ago here in Kota Bharu was still considered the most remote state in Peninsular Malaysia. Now it is different...it changes rapidly.....Hoping that 2010 will still blessed us,friends,family and all with prosperous....and happy days!!! ahead!!!

Porcelain Flowers Are Forever.

2009-11-08T18:18:00.000-08:00

Few of the above was shown in International Trade Exhibition at PutraWorld back in 1993 but was never make into mass production.Only prototype.
My Boss said that it is too Malaysian.He is right my design are probably just for Malaysian....
by the way the Orchid and the Stone base was made by cold casting resin,the leaf and stalk made by bronze
and painted to be as original as it is.The Hibiscus and Rose was made by porcelain but with stalk made by bronze.Oh well!! .......I guess I will never make this kind of design ever again...!!??

If You Can Draw You Can Do It.......Too.

2009-11-07T17:48:00.000-08:00

My mentor Lucas from Spain always said that if you can draw perfectly you can always sculpt it better.
From any drawing.... plus high imagination ..make it flow to both of your hand.

With god 's permission you can start sculpting.Pick up the clay, you press it,you
play with it and you form it,you take it out, you put some more and don't forget to look at the drawing
and some book as a reference.You refine it bit by bit....and finely you cut it and make it into
a plaster mould. You cast it with liquid clay, left it to dry and pour out the excess clay liquid. Assemble it
into original pieces and put in to a kiln.The white body will come out...

Then you can start painting...

The picture here was just a few of my real job...I love animals...birds,flowers,figurines and whatever form we can make.I love them all.......
but at this age....when God comes knocking in your heart five time a day.......I would prefer..mmmm.
I love flowers....!!

There is also time...when you just play with the clay and follow your heart.....with the photo in your head..

If you ever seen this kind of product..don't forget that... it was made here in Malaysia.
I am not going to show you all the process but to all artist,painter and sculptor.....just imagine.......?????

On Top Of The World.

2009-10-21T01:44:00.000-07:00

It still feel like actually I am and I was on the top of the world....

I was there!!!After leggy half day of mountain climbing, a night rest
at Gunting Lagadan Camp having instant noodles as a dinner. Continue climbing before dawn to the top peak of Mount Kinabalu,the highest mountain in South East Asia.

The wind was strong and it is chillingly cold burning till your bone.My hand was shivering and trembling hard and my teeth
chattering a sound.There on top was a very thick book tight to a metal
inside a box where we put our name and sign it proof that you was there on that very particular day.
Leslie,me,Hanem,Don and Hasnul was there..........in 1986.

Visiting A Friend At Carbondale Illinois

2009-10-07T01:47:00.000-07:00

My dear close friend was just married at that time and he brought along his pretty cute wife to Carbondale in 1991.

Both of them are Fine Art student from school of Art & Design.

ITM Malaysia,whom both was also my Fine Art classmate.

He invited me to his place in Carbondale so to cut the story short I just jump on a taxi crossing the border to Eagle Pass Texas,took a bus to San Antonio,took a direct flight to a beautiful St Louis. Both couple was waiting for me with their friend and that is how I met this brand new couple whom was actually none other than Mr. Hasnul Jamal and Mrs Rozana. Really.... met them after few years missing in action.

Stayed there for few days,especially in their studio doing painting along with Hasnul's friend,Mr Abdul Najjar Musawwir also an art student at that time. Few photo here just for the record. Life was simple and easy at that time, it seems borderless or without boundary.

Chubu Shin Seisaku Kaigaten -Art Competition in Nagoya City Hall, Japan.

2009-09-29T21:01:00.000-07:00

Rewinding memory to 1990............
It was a cold winter Ramadhan in Japan.The weather was gloomy most of the time but the feelinf of lonesome still vivid in my mind.No sunny cool winter, not cool...but just a very very cold winter.I love and cherished all those sunny day in Japan.Fasting was easy at daytime but a little longer hour until break fasting at 8.00 p.m.

A close friend,Ando san invited me to enter an Art Competition in Nagoya just for fun and for the sake of trying.
The idea make me nervous and excited, as I recalled how Bakat Muda Sezaman used to make my eyes open and sleepless for all those hardworking night during my student days.I was one of the winner in 1988 but not the first runner up. Enough to received RM 1000 from the sponsor and a letter of recognition by the late Dr. Ahmad.

There in Japan the entry fee was a staggering 6000 yen and it will just vanishes or burned to nothing if your work was not chosen by the committee and that makes me so nervous.Very close to breakdown. Luckily two of my artwork was chosen even though few had question if it can be considered as painting.Unfortunately my friend Ando lost his entry fee even though his portraits painting was cool enough to me.

During the prize ceremony,I recalled that the Japanese was so understanding that all 'kam-paii' or 'cheers'was delayed till I break my fasting at close to 8.00 o'clock.I had bowed to all of them showing my respect and deep appreciation for new friend of fellow artist before break fasting.The prize was only for first runner up and there is no second prize or third.First runner up goes to Masaki Takahashi.The first prize was a contract of a one month tv exposure on local NHK tv. The committee believe that the prize was the best prize they ever give to an artist and I also strongly think Malaysian Art Patron should follow this as an example because a lasting exposure will means a better and bright future for the artist.

Hampton's Landing,Corpus Christi Texas.

2009-09-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time in Texas November 1991.

It take 8 hours driving from Eagle Pass TX to Corpus Christi. I recalled, Lucas handling the wheel of our Ford Taurus Wagon with his son Puncho in front,Uezono and me sat at the back was so excited that we never stop talking and sleep all the way.Lucas drived all the way and only stop once just for nature's call.The weather was gloomy but I enjoy the drive passing through semi desert at night and arrive safely to a beautiful marina called Corpus Christi.

Richard the guide, brought us to a nearby swamp where we caught a live fish bait. Prawn was also use as a bait. At Hampton's Landing we bought a 60 cent stamp for each person as some sort of a licence to fish.

On that particular day the weather was gloomy,windy and cold but we went fishing anyway almost the whole day.

Finally the catch was good enough to make sashimi for the whole week!!

10 SIGNS OF A VERY BAD MANAGER.

2009-08-10T18:10:00.000-07:00

Seems like a long retirement from writing.A lot of thing happened aroung the world since then.The legendary MJ already passed away but H1N1 seems to stay forever and not going away.

I had a lot of unfinished project.......after having a few break from stomach ache,high fever,headache,underpressure and over stress had created a bad aura.Nothing seem to work.Sluggish!........if writing is a positive manner than not writing is also considered a bad negative manners.Must always write!

Just found a good writing here from Ms Margaret Heffernan for FastCompany.com about incompetent managers. Maybe we found this stereotype of managers once in a while in our lifetime.

1)Bias Against Action:There are always plenty of reasons not to take a decision,reasons to wait for more information,more options,more opinions.But real managers always display a consistent bias for action.People who don't make mistakes generally don't make anything.Legendary ad man David Ogilvy argued that a good decision today is worth far more than a perfect decision next month.Beware prevaricators.

Have you met this type of guy??I've met a lot of this 'bossy' guy!There is one in the next room whose now going to ruin my future.

2)Secrecy:"we can't tell the staff," is something I hear managers says repeatedly.They defend this argument that the staff will be distracted,confused or simply unable to comprehend what is happening in the business.If you treat employees like children,they will behave that way-which means trouble.If you treat them like adults,they may just respond like wise.Very few matters in business must remain confidential and good managers can identify those easily.The lover of secrecy has trouble being honest and is afraid of letting peers have the information they need to challenge him. He would rather defend his position than advanced the mission.Secrets make the company political,anxious and full of distrust.

100% correct!I can sense that now like a hound dog.It left a smell.....

3) Over- sensitivity: "I know she always late, but if I raise the subject,She'll be hurt." An inability to be direct and honest with staff is a critical warning sign.Can your manager see a problem,address it headlong and move on?If not,problem won't get resolved,they'll grow.When managers say staff is too sensitive,they are usually describing themselves.Wilting violets don't make great leaders.Weed them out.Interestingly,secrecy and over-sensitivity almost always travel together. They are bias against honesty.

Yess!!yes!.......

4)Love of procedure:Managers who cleave to the rule book,to points of order and who refer to colleagues by their title have forgotten that rules and processes exist to expedite business,not ritualize it.Love of procedure often mask a fatal inability to prioritize - a tendency to polish the silver while the house is burning.

Yeah!! the guy who follow by the book....

5)Preference for weak candidates:We interviewed three job for a new position.One was clearly to junior,the other rubbed everyone up the wrong way and the third stood head and shoulders above the rest. Who did you want to hire?The junior.She felt threatened by the super-competent manager and hadn't the confidence to know that you must always hire people smarter than yourself.

Correct!!indeed ....

6)Focus on small task:Another senior salesperson I hired always produce the most perfect charts,forecast and spreadsheet.She was always on time,her data completely up-to-date.She would always volunteer for project she had no core expertise - marketingplans,financial forecast,meeting with bank managers,the office move.It was all displacement activity to hide the fact that she could not do her real job.

No wonder ..........always.......!!!??****...

7)Inability to hire former employees:I hire a sales once with (apparently) a luminous reputation. But, as we staffed up,he never attracted any candidates from his old company.He'd worked in sales for twenty years - hadn't he mentored anyone who'd want to work with him again?Every good manager has alumni,eager to join the team again;if they don't,smell a rat.

I've said so!!......

8)Allergy to deadlines:A deadline is a commitment.The manager who cannot set,and stick to deadlines,cannot honor commitments.A failure to set and meet deadlines also means that no one can ever feel a true sense of achievement.You can't celebrate milestones if there aren't any.

You'll be dead without dateline achievement.....

9)Addiction to consultants: A common - but expensive - way to put off making decisions is to hire consultanst who can recommend several alternatives.While they're figuring this out ,managers don't have to do anything.And when consultant's choices are presented,the ensuing debates can often absorb hours,days,months.When the consultant leaves,he takes your money and his increased expertise out the door with him.

Usually they overcharged!!

10) Long Hours: In my experience,bad managers work very long hours.They think this is a brand of heroism but it is probably the single biggest hallmark of incompetence.To work efectively, you must prioritize and you must pace yourself. The manager who boasts of late nights,early mornings and no time off cannot manage himself so you'd better not let him manage anyone else.

This type of boss always over acting...don't you think so?But then how did they became the
boss in the first place???Just by acting.....they should go to Hollywood instead........!!!

Bye for now!

Cashew Fruit or Gajus or Ketereh or 'Jangguih.'

2009-05-26T19:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Bro,

It'd been a long time........

It seems that nowadays everybody is busy doing painting...I guess so??I also have few unfinished painting which collecting dust at home....stuck on inspiration!!!loosing the fire??Staring at it more than doing it!!

I am thinking of showing unfinish painting but......let it be...first.

The other day I went to our factory backyard and found that the cashew tree bear a lot of fruits

but very small small fruits not like what it use to be.Do you remember when we was a kid?

At the back of our house there use to be very big cashew tree with a yellow red fruit.Very big fleshy and sweet watery juices. Our neighbour 'Kak Teh' had a yellow fruit tree and 'Pak Man' had a red fruit tree. The red one is a little acidic but the best thing is the fried cashew nuts.

..and do you remember that we will go from house to house just to collect the seed. Everbody in the neigbourhood seems to have their own cashew tree.It will take half a day just to fried it in a MILO or a DUMEX tin,after it caught the fire all will burn rapidly until the acid or gas in the nut start to fade away. We will smash the nutshell by using a hammer or stone and eat the nut right away.Sometime the black carbon shell stuck at your hand and mouth but you will eat it anyway.Crispy......and taste better than the one we bought nowaday which was dried under the sun.

Do you know that a few years ago a doctor in the Philipines had manage to extract the acid in the nutshell and use it for cosmetic purposes.At a certain amount the extract can be use to terminate mole or warts for good.To make it short, the doctor is a milionaire by now.

Another thing which I would like to add that,in Malaysia nowadays only the nuts or seed are considered important.How about the fleshy fruits?? We just throw it away.......how about

making it into enzyme? I am sure there's much much more benefit we can get from the juices.

Bottled it!!We can make a cashew winery!!Ooopss!! just a thought!!

By the way planting and taking care of the shady tree is easy and it is also a very nice sun shade tree.Hey!!!!When are you going to update your blog?Everbody!!!!????Come onn....

Bye for now!!Hasta la Vista!!!!!

A Tower Of Dream Halfway Through.

2009-04-29T20:28:00.000-07:00

,This time it is not about my painting but this time it is about another dream that I would like to share.Fortunately it is not only my dream but it is also my brothers's dream.Having 4 brothers and 5 sisters so probably it is also the same dreams of my sisters.

My Family with my Father in the middle at his '82 years old birthday family reunion'.
My youngest sister and my 3rd brother was not in the picture.Me in red shirt.

As a young dreamer,I always dreamt of having a retreat or a resort house somewhere on an island or on a mountain.A Robinson Crusoe's kind of a house where we could gather our sibling and our kids once a year. A house where we could do bird watching,star gazing and jungle tracking,collecting insects,fishing in a nearby river and all sort of thing that Robinson Crusoe ever did and all Jacques Cousteo never did.

On the contrary,my older brother's dreamed was to have a place where artist can spend their time retreat and doing paintings. Some sort of artist village where artist exchanged ideas,inspiration,relaxing in their own hut among the trees,doing sketches,pantings,sculpting,reading,sleeping and eating bananas.

Unlike my younger brother,he wants it to be a hotel where people pay to stay there.People do yoga among the tree house,sauna in a cool mountain water with open air bathroom, eating under the star gazing roof,internet chatting and client pay for everything.

I say!!!why not we combine all of this and see how???.......a tree house,a tower house,a mushroom house,a tatoine house,green house,eco friendly house and all sorts of ideas ......we use to long chat from 8.00 pm till 6.00 am in the morning,half awake,joking,laughing all night long rewinding old stories....The conclusion will always be .....how deep is the pocket???but never fear!! My older brother take the first bold action...he just start drawing a sketch of a mushroom and .......

NOW!!!!Our dreams is halfway through or you can say that it is true! and really really real.......!!Actually few years back my younger brother had found a piece of land available at the foot of a mountain.My older brother just agreed to that and together they bought the land at the foot of mountain called 'Gunung Raya' located on a beautiful island called 'Langkawi' North of Malaysia very near to the Andaman Sea. If you happens to surf Google Earth,please try this location. I will gladly welcome to all of your comment and probably maybe in the future if you happen to visit Malaysia's Langkawi Island why not come and see my brother's dreamt.... or even stay there!!

THE GROUND AT ZERO JUST BEFORE STARTING THE FOUNDATION.

METAL STRUCTURE FOR THE MAIN BEAM.

IT IS 4 STOREY HIGH.NOTICE THE GUY ON THE BEAM.

WOODEN PLANK AS FLOOR.

WILL IT LOOK LIKE A MUSHROOM?

THE ROOF WILL BE A TRANSPARENT ROOF SO THAT WE CAN STAR GAZING OR
LET THE STAR SEE US!SOUND OF THE NIGHT!!MUCH MUCH MORE INTERESTING!!

IF A LITTLE BIT HIGHER ON THE ROOF MAYBE CAN SEE THE ANDAMAN SEA.

NOTICE THE MACAQUE HANGING AROUND.........

REPRESENTATIVE FROM THE NATURE IS WATCHING THE BUILDING.

WE STILL DID NOT SEEMS TO FIND A SUITABLE NAME YET???

My Shabby Clay Workshop.

2009-04-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

THE CLAY MIXER WITH THE YELLOW CYLINDER GAS FOR FIRING.

CLAY CASTING LEFT TO HARDEN AFTER TAKEN THE EXCESS CLAY LIQUID.

PLASTER MODEL.

PLASTER MODELS & DRIED GREEN BODY.

WAITING TO BE FIRED IN THE KILN.

SAFETY NET TO PROTECT FROM EGG LAYING CHICKEN.

THE EVER HARDY BURNER OR THE EVER TRUSTED MR. BURNER.

THE FLAME IS BLUE AND CAN'T HARDLY SEEN HERE.

THE KILN OR MR. KILN

MR. KILN UNDER A CLAY ROOF SHACK.

Back in Jan 28th.2008, I had written before about my workshop where I did most of my plaster models and clay casting. The title was Clay Pottery Making Under The Starfruit Tree. Consider this one as a rewrite.

Well!! After two times struck by flood,now the Starfruit Tree was already dead and my bamboo shack with Sago Leaf for roofing was long gone to make way for a small road.My bamboo shack was erected in year 2000 but was demolished in 2004.I am really quite fond of the shack and a lot of happy memory when we was there.My friend and I had to transfered all our equipment to a new location underneath a friend's house just nearby where the old bamboo shack used to be. With mother earth as a floor and less wall,we seems to manage here and there since then.

I had remake the kiln a little bigger compare to old round one,we also make a simple roof just for the kiln. A shabby one of course!! My homemade claymixer still working and strong and intact.But the economy now is so uncertain that peoples now spend less to buy whatever product.We even change our design to a more traditional 'pumpkin' style with natural earth colour (without finishing). I also spend less and less time here.

The Clay which I bought in year 2000 was still there near the house full with grasses but still can be use. My burner also destroyed many time,but we manage re welding and re use it again and again.My old models,also mostly ruined by the flood and rain so not much left to show.Now we only have the new models which was traditional in shape.Recently somebody in Kuala Lumpur already put it in their craft showroom in Kuala Lumpur .Hopefully peoples will like it and maybe buy one or two in the near future.

A Fish In The Net.

2009-04-05T21:04:00.000-07:00

JUST A SMALL FISH.

FISH IN THE NET.

SARAH.

Dear Bro,

Went to the beach last Friday.Nice and hot sunny day!!

I really need to get some real fresh air!You know !!??.....workinggg days and night make your brain sag.My movement seems like a drag. So we pack a lunch baggg(sounds like a Rap!!)

It is time to get some invigorating air from the beach.Only 20 minutes drive from our house but it feels like years that I'd been to the beach.When was the last time I went to the beach??....can't hardly remember. Not much time to go fishing nowadays.

Brought along my wife and my little girl Sarah.It is a very hot weather though it was raining heavily the day before,my wife cannot actually stand the heat at noon time so she just stay in the car until around 5.00 pm. when the air is cooler.

After about a mile walking we found two guy fishing by using a net(not internet!!!).

"menjala" or "netting" by using a net is a must for the local fisherman here especially during the hot season.The net is six feet in diameter and weigh about 20kg,you must have a strong arm and throw it in a round shape swing as to really catch the fish. You throw it where you think that there is a fish.The fish is small and seems to be less than expected.Not like what it used to be.Anyway I take a few photo here for the blog.

We went back home late in the evening after downloading my lung full with fresh salty air!!!

and not to forget also a sunburn....here and there...

The Fern Blue (2006)

2009-03-31T18:53:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been to a swamp? Where a fallen leaf drop in a shallow water.For a long period of time it started to rotten and mixed with the stagnant water created some sort of chemical or mineral reaction.
The multicolour created was so briliant and actually imposible to be duplicate by human made colours.Sometime you can use stick and take a very thin plastic layer from the water and the colour vanished the minute you touch it.

I had imagined it with a fern and try to catch the effect and did the same but failed to do so.
How I wish I had a camera at that time and snap a photo just for a reference......
just for a next experiment......!!!???

My Weirdest Fish Collection.

2009-03-25T23:43:00.000-07:00

I took the above picture recently when I search for my egg basket item.It was actually made probably about 5 years ago and stayed in the attic eversince we transfer here. It is a three separated item using slip casting technics.Made from natural clay found at a nearby river and fired at 600 celcius only.

I remembered that it was night time and I just feel like to do something different so I simply cut the fish bases and start combining it with the hibiscus vase. I am sure I have seen similar object in the past but I'm not sure where???. The clay was still wet when taken out from the mould but sturdy so it is easier for me to cut and combine just by using water. I said to my friend that it is two fish jumping out from a vase!!! but my friend said that it is two fish stuck in a vase...whateverrr!!!

After firing in my homemade kiln I use oil colour and paint green the whole body. The effect came out after sanding smooth the whole body with a sand paper.

The Malay's Egg Basket In A Wedding Culture.

2009-03-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

In a Malay wedding culture, a visitor will always carry back home 'bekas telur' or an egg basket with one boiled egg inside. It is a sort of token gratitude from the host.I am just not sure why it must be an egg,probably a symbol of fertility or maybe a take away fast food to eat while travelling back a distant to their home.

When I was a kid in the seventies I recalled that a lady visitor will bring sugar as a usual gift and also other kind of kitchen ware as a gift. The man will give money to the bride or groom's father

upon arriving at the wedding. As a kid you can eat fried chicken,curry meat,bryani rice and eat as much as you can especially ......if the bride is your sister!!

Traditionally the eggbasket was made from Pandanus Utilis leaf or 'Daun Mengkuang'.

Boiled egg will be put inside the basket with shredded Pandanus Amaryllifolis leaf or 'Daun Pandan' as a fresh fragrance combine with jasmine flowers.It smells very good!!

I recalled few years back in 2006, my third sister Rashidah asked me to make an egg basket from clay. She wants it to be in a shape of a Rose flower for his first son's wedding.It take two month, night and day to finish about 500 pcs of it.Very heavy and tiring task!! She also wants it to be yellow Rose gilded with gold and green leave.The content to be was not actually an egg but a gold plastic egg with a Ferrero Roche chocolate inside,sponsored by one of my brother. Gradually nowadays design and content had change but the culture are still the same.

A week ago a guy in Kuala Lumpur, had an interest in the Rose's Egg basket just to make a sample. So I bring it out and take a photo. 3 pcs was sent to Kuala Lumpur and will be exhibit

at Kuala Lumpur Craft Center.

Fern Series - 2006

2009-03-15T19:58:00.000-07:00

I had started Fern series many years ago which technically was a mixed media using water base colour and also oil base colour. I start by stamping,pressing and using brush to add dark background and finish it with airbrush. Only recently I frame it ,two painting into one glass of frame. I had put it two in one as to make an impact of repetitive image and at the same time it is much bigger looking. But when I hang it on the wall it still look smaller though. You had to be a little closer to view the painting.

Most of my fern series with dark,black night background with little bright colour to show

glowing light of the night. Do you see the resemblance of 'Black is beautiful'.Imagining a very dark dark night with creeping fern moving and flowing by soft air and lit by a moonlight. Everything in the universe start from darkness,only then the light or nur(arabic) appear.

I paint this image onto a canvas which actually a boxboard paper.I never really done it on canvas yet but currently now I am experimenting to do so especially on a 5 x 4 ft canvas.

Fern is what I consider to be representing every organic being on earth or I would like to say like a symbol of organic 'birth'. You know the 'shoot' of fern which is curly,just like a baby curling in a mother's womb.It is my subject of interest.I have to give credit to my brother Tajalli(also a painter) because he also make fern as his subject many many years back.Hoping that he will still continue painting.

Currently I am still experimenting with water base batique colour and finish onto it with oil base colour by using air brush.This time on a canvas!!!

The Mango Tree and The River Fish.

2009-03-11T00:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Bro,

My daily routine nowadays at about 5.00 p.m. to 6.00 p.m. is attending to my Mango Tree and to my River Fish Aquarium.My favourite hobby since childhood.

You know,in Kelantan Mango is called 'buah Pauh', in Kedah it is called 'Mempelam' or 'Pelam' but there is also a place called 'Permatang Pauh' in Penang.Hmmm..I wonder why???

When we first bought the terrace house,the Mango tree was already there. Probably about 10 years old and our new friendly neighbour asked us to cut the tree cause it is very old and fruitless tree.

No fruit at all but full of Red Ant and Parasite tree. The Red Ant create a living city on the Parasite Tree and the Parasite tree live and flourish abundantly on the Mango tree sucking all the energy,vitamin and mineral. I am positively sure that is the main reason for not fruiting at all.

After burning all the Red Ant's nest and plenty of bite and bruises,we cut all the parasite tree.

The tree looks bald and hurt. Then with God's permission nature takes its course, new leaves coming out and flower start to blooms .At first it bear few big sweet mango fruits and we share it with our neighbours.

Few month ago I bought a fertilizer at RM 3.00 for fruiting purpose and put it all around the tree. The results!!!!??? as you can see here is remarkable.Alhamdulillah!!!The whole tree start flowering and changes to fruit very fast...

At the same time,my collection of river fish also growing bigger and healthier.As you can see here,there is few fish which I caught from the river in Tumpat and few which were bought from the Aquashop. We use to have Discus Fish which was very beautiful but they all died when we transfer to this house. So I renew my hobby with river fish with scale (sisik).

I remember caught two small Susur Batang (Terperas) about 20 cent in size

and one small Lampam last year during rainy season. Now,it is almost one ringgit in size.

Take a look in the aquarium, there is also Lampam Emas,Tengalan and Kelah Lebar .I believe they can grow bigger in a pond.

Recently here in Kota Bharu, an Aquashop sell one alive Red Kelah half kilo in weight at RM500.00 woooo...

Why not give it a try??!!

Haa ha ha.....!!!So many suggestion...!!

Eel In A Sewerage Filter System.

2009-03-03T19:38:00.000-08:00

Dear bro,

It was raining heavily this few days since Friday Prayer Feb. 27th,by Monday

our factory sewerage system was overflow with water and stop functioning.The water turn grayish because of the main raw material which was actually a 'clay' dirt. Realising that it is also full with mud and sand,we decided to use the Excavator.

As I was told by our maintenance staff, that when the Excavator took the first scoop,it was full with baby eels which all of them manage to crawl and escape back into the sewerage water.

The big one, and only one was stranded on the grass and easily caught.A very brown eel.

Fierce looking dragon kind of snake.

Guess what?? Eel or Belut or Ikan Linang is worth a try in your catfish pond?Don't you think so?Very commercial and I think if your catfish can survive the pond,the eel will.

Back in 1990 when I was in Japan.We can only eat fish most of the time untill I got bored with fish. But one day at a restaurant, a Japanese friend decided to order a rice with grilled Unagi fish.

It was my first 'oishi' delicious food I had ever tasted in Japan,so good that I asked for one more

bowl with Unagi. They explained to me that it was a long fish from the river. Yet the translation 'Belut' was not in my head at that time.Later when I found out that it was a 'Belut', the creepy feeling kind of snake just fade away.

Now, I will only remember crispy,soft,juicy,grilled unagi.....

very tasty and good......!!! You must try this at a Japanese Restaurant.

Kechupu vs Manggis.

2009-03-01T17:52:00.001-08:00

Dear Bro,

I think I have sent this photo before....
Kechupu is consider a very rare sweet and sour fruit in Kelantan,but for sure can only be found in Kelantan or probably in other state of Malaysia with different name. This Garcinia family is not as famous as her distant relative the superior famous Manggis. There is also a place here called Gertak Kechupu. Gertak is actually translate into 'bridge' or 'titi'. Maybe the wood was made into a bridge to cross over a small river.

I have tasted this one which is very much sweet than sour.The flesh is watery so I believe that it can be made into juice,jam or marmalade but at a very minimum quantity compare to Manggis.The green one definitely sour which was advised to mix with 'sambal belachan' to create delicious aroma.The tree bear fruits at a very early age compare to Manggis.

Have you ever found this in Kedah?or other state. If you found this,plant it in your kebun

so that we can "kawin" it in the future. Maybe future hybrid Manggis will be at least be much better and feasible for export. In Thailand Manggis had been developed into cosmetic after they invented Bedak Rambai. I even found here buah Setoi (Sentul) as big as sepaktakraw ball which offcourse made in Thailand.

By the way the pink flower up there, I got it from the internet and they called it

Button Mangosteen (Kechupu). Why 'Mango' and why 'teen'??? Just leave it that way.

Lastly..beware!!! I want to make a prediction here...

in a few month time a new fruit will be famous in the market.It is called 'Crystal Wax Apple' originated from Taiwan. A shiny brilliant fruit not actually resemble to apple at all.

Here in Malaysia it is called 'Jambu Air' lah... but the size is as big as tennis ball. It take only a year to bear fruit. The guy who plant this fruit on a hectare of land with 140 tree is racking in RM 7,000 a month. What do you think???

So put this Crystal Wax Apple in your kebun's list.

A Website To Collect Water Dew.

2009-02-24T18:41:00.000-08:00

Last week on Friday morning when I arrived at the office, I saw something which at a glance you will think that it is a frost or maybe a snow which naturally quite unusual.

After all this is Malaysia,a tropical hot climate country.

Upclose, I realise that this is actually a ' website' belong to a kind of spider.The owner is definitely a spider but I cannot track even one. Most probably somewhere underneath hiding in very cool climate conditioning by the gigantic or mammoth website.Are there hundreds of them or just one hardworking spider?? Dont have much time to crawl underneath and look for one, after all I am no one Richard Attenborough.

Is it really that this website was invented to collect water for their consumption or is it for the purpose of cooling effect, after all the weather nowadays is hot and humid.Probably only an experts on insects can answer this. The dew effect create white brilliant effect which from far you will thought that it is a snow. Imagine if you can stay very small and tiny under this giant website. That is to be an insect!

What about us human, now living by creating website comunicating to each other human all over the world??? Human website collect billions of info which permanently stranded or hanging in cyber world for the rest of our human live.Just imagine that!!!Will it create a cooling effect or a chaos and chaotic world.Well! Guess we human had to looked much further especially Quran and see if there is God's answer for this creation.

Just a penny for thought.

Bye!

The Taste of Nur (1993) unfinished.

2009-01-14T23:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Bro,

Just for your info after settling down in Kota Bharu in 1993, I did start painting by using oil paint,water base paint and also mix with collage. It is a matter of implementing ideas which forces you to use every medium available as to get to your point done in term of shape,form, ideas and whatever else in my boiling brain.

At that time the urge is rather persistence crushing and begging your heart to pour everything

on canvas.

I made few painting but two of them never really finish and the painting was already

16 years old today.I did put a PAS symbol white moon in the middle and I feel proud of it at that time.My heart just cool away somehow.I try to finish it many times but somehow I could not....I guess ?? ...Maybe or probably it was actually about a journey of life which will not finish until we human being will be 'rest in peace'. Do you agree with me on that?

I kept it anyway with the hope that I might finish it someday.

Visitor of The Pond (2008)

2009-01-14T18:42:00.000-08:00

Dear Bro,

This painting is another painting still about the pond.About having a visitor once in a while

visiting your pond.Just let the colour go their way and we just some sort of carved it out.

With the brain and heart comunicating in between you and your painting,half true,half imagination..... perhaps only psychologist can construct how does brains work...Believe it or not

doing this painting is just like going through a door into the country of Narnia.

Resident of The Pond (2008)

2009-01-14T17:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Bro,

My second painting in 2008 was still about the Frog's Resident.The title just pop in!Very sentimental but yet strong and dark feeling.Come to think of it that sometime like a frog we leap to a certain place and stranded there for a short while. Living the day by day and forgetting that time pass by and we are actually getting old....age...

The Jumper's Residence (2008)

2009-01-06T00:32:00.000-08:00

It just happen that the frog can also live wherever there is water.I somehow imagine that this is how it is going to look like.

ART

2008-11-12T20:36:00.000-08:00

ART IS SO MUCH SIGNIFICANT THAN EITHER ECONOMIC OR PHILOSOPHY.
IT IS THE DIRECT MEASURE OF MAN'S SPIRITUAL VISION.

THE WORTH OF A CIVILIZATION OR A CULTURE IS NOT VALUED IN THE TERM
OF ITS MATERIAL WEALTH OR MILITARY POWER BUT
BY THE QUALITY AND ACHIEVEMENT OF ITS REPRESENTATIVE INDIVIDUALS
- ITS PHILOSOPHERS,ITS POETS AND ITS ARTIST.

BY HERBERT READ.

So who do you think the most prominent Philosopher in Malaysia? Poets? Artist?

Mexican Cowboy or Tres Caballeros.

2008-07-23T01:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Bro,

As my Spanish got better day by day,everyday is a very interesting day.
It was a sunny day in summer 1990 for horse riding, a friend name Hugo
invite us to his ranch for horse riding.Everybody came with their own horse
and I brought my company VW Jetta. I put the camera on one of the horses and the
photo just came out fine and splendid.

My Studio in Mexico 1990.

2008-07-22T01:24:00.000-07:00

Among the administistration staff of Ceramica Creativa S.A de C.V.

Celebrating Birthday in the Studio on the left Magdalena,me,Lucas,Adrian y Nagao.

Members of my studio from left Lucas,Adrian,Hugo,Maria,Carmen,Hayukawa & me.

Dear Bro,

Life was lonely there at first,I mean ...in the photo...or...is it inside my heart..???.

no spanish no talk.But then working and study at the same time give you plenty of time not to think about it. Just enjoy new thing with all that came day by day.

The studio was full or artbooks.What else can an artist asked for.

Now!!!! to think of it. Those days was the most valuable day of my life.

The Artist,The Savvy and The Adventurous.

2008-04-09T20:14:00.000-07:00

Tajalli-The Artist.

My older brother was actually not in the picture when the picture was taken at Bukit Dumbar, Pulau Pinang in 1972.I am not sure where he is.He was always not really at homeever since my brain started to functioning and pondering my small kid kampung environment.

As a big brother,I can recalled how he always brought us back mee goreng mamak with a slice of lemon and everybody had to share and take just a spoonfull as it is always not enough for all of us....

I also recalled my mother always awaiting for Mr Postman everyday hoping to geta news from him.I remember on one particular day when mother received a letter from him.She was so eager and happy opening the letter.Reading it time after time and I also sneak in reading slowly the handwriting on a blue soft paper.I asked my mother what does 'l.o.g.h.a.t' means and I guess she is the one who teach me the meaning with the real pronounciation. Reading a letter from beloved one was really a joyous occasion in those days.

Only from the letter that I realised that my big brother was away studying art in Terengganu which seems half the world far away from our small town Kilang Lama,Kulim Kedah. In the letter he was explaining how he is adapting to the situation there and how the local dialect was very different from us. In those early days I also learn that adults drop their tears even when they are happy.

He was an art student,no wonder there is a few painting adorning our wall in the house.It was like a relic sign that there was an artist in the house. Well...nowadays he is still the artist and also the wiser adviser......

Thani - The Savvy.

My second brother was what I believed the smartest,handsome and savvy.Everbody loves him very much and it shows.At home you can always feels it,he got the aura... and I guess at school....every girls had a crushed on him but he is the loyal kind of a guy.

Very fluent in English,very generous and good at convincing people and I believe he is still the same nowadays...

Wahi - The Adventurer.

My third brother was the ' survival..' type.In those day,his idol is Jim Bowie,Sea Hunt,Kodiak,Kojak and maybe Vic Morrow.All from the 70's tv series running in those days. Mac Gyver is more of my time .....I guess!?..
He was always doing adventurest thing.Tracking the hill and quarry near our house,all the nearby river,hunting for birds, fishing,animals and whatsoever related to outside the house sports adventure.He was always with his seconder.... Det. Det our neighbor's son is like a Robin to a Batman. A hero always had his partner or sidekick . Det is the man and a diehard follower.

He loves nature very much and still remain the same until today.....

Rafidi- The Sales & Marketing Man.

I believed my younger brother was always a marketing man and a salesman eversince we was still in primary school.I still remember when he was 8 years old,he always asked me to draw cartoon and he will sell it to his friend in school. Sometime I will draw robots, I guess... it was Voltron.....and sometime even Muhammad Ali and Joe Bugner.

I recalled when he brought home RM 7.00 just by selling all the drawings.Wow!!! That was a lot of money and it was like a fortune for us.Ooooo....those happy days.

Nowadays ... he is in Hotel business..

ME.......!??? however on the other hand was always the all three in one kind of a guy.I feel that I am creative just like an artist,savvy....well learned and yet adventurest and loves nature very very much but not really the marketing kind of a guy.....but as always ..this is brotherly love in writing.

The Love of My Life.

2008-02-26T19:13:00.000-08:00

I still remember arriving in Mexico very late at midnight after 4 hours driving from San Antonio to Eagle Pass, Texas.Going across the border into Piedras Negras Coahuila.The Ford Taurus went straight into the garage in front of a white villa.I guess?Nobody is waiting
there.....Tired and sleepy they showed me the bedroom.I just crushed on the bed.....

I wake up in the morning hearing a noise outside my room.I open the door and see a lot of people gathered in the dining room.Well! I guess I better take a shower right away now because they are expecting me! The new boy in town!!!!

Suddenly,from the window in my room,there is a girl walking approaching to the front gate.
The face!?kind of familiar???!!Why?!!This is Mexico!! Come on!!I just arrived here last night.The face is unforgettable....the face.............It is like deja vu...!!Oooohhh..Spooky??!!!Maybe?
Is it a past dream...?? or what?!..........

In the big dining room when everybody start gathering,Mr Kimura,the guy who drove the car started to introduce me to everybody in the room.I am a little bit shy though and at the sametime still sleepy. But my eyes become wide open when they introduce me to her...

Only then, I was told that,it was actually a strike in the factory.The worker's Union had launched a strike!!the very first day I was there.A workers on strike!!!That is why all office workers and management staff are gathered for their special meeting.No wonder...

The girl's name was Argentina De La Torre Carrillo.The name that I will never forget for the rest of my life.I never really got to know her until a few month later.All of the girls there did not speak English and I cannot speak Spanish so .....no communication until I can "habla en espanyol"..

My First Time in United States Of America.

2008-02-11T23:22:00.000-08:00

After spending almost a year in Japan,my company decided to send me to their factory branch in Mexico. Since the factory is located at the south of Texas,I had to go through America or you can say across half of the country just to go to somewhere northen of Mexico.

Just imagine, a Malay village boy who begin to behave like Japanese now been suddenly thrown
into America. Land of the Six Million Dollar Man,Bionic Woman,Rambo, Terminator and what else that Hollywood image had covered all the globe.America is ........top of the world!

I arrived in Los Angeles Airport during summer 1990.Tired and a little disoriented with the surrounding. Japan staff said that somebody will be waiting for me at the airport.
The first time I get outside the airport,WOW!! the road is very big!!man!! compare to the road in Japan!This is three to four time bigger and it is beautiful and ....clean.Just like in TV.
Then somebody shouted my name!!Aahh!Taufikusann....!!(bow twice!!) It is Suzuki san from USA office.I know him well because I've met him before when he was in Japan.Thank God! there is a similar face here.

I got into the car,it was a station wagon some sort of gold in color.My God!! the front seat,you can put six person in front or twenty Japanese in this car.American car is very big!!Along the road everything looks wonderful,big and colourful. I love America!!(That was 1990 and everybody
loves America!)

It was already in the evening.Mr Suzuki drop me at a Motel in front of a bowling
centre. The Motel with a big.... swimming pool!I had never seen a swimming pool when I was in Japan, even in a Hotel but off course with hot spring pool though. I feel tired but cannot sleep, a jetlag effect I guess!I watch TV and there he was a very handsome guy with very big smile speaking,grinning right at you,motivating you to change and join him for better with full enthusiasm.

I will never forget this guy because from that time on my experienced in America became the
most unforgettable memory of my life. The guy name is Anthony Robbins.The personal achievement trainer. You know him!!Don't you??
Everybody know him.

Well,the next morning I was to take a flight to San Antonio,Texas....and then will take a car to Mexico. Mexico here I come!!!!...........

Young Guns-The 4 Perception Version 2009.

2008-02-04T22:47:00.000-08:00

The picture looks like a bunch of rock group on a 1960th album.It may sound funny though because the above photo was actually taken somewhere early 1989.This was a past history taken decades ago. Really???My!!!19 years ago??!!!Wow.Those guys must be really somebody nowadays.Why do I feel like, it was only yesterday and it just happens that I feel young again

watching this old photo.The photo itself must be worth something!!I wonder where is the

original photo.

The same end of the year those 4 guys when their own way.Hasnul when to USA on a young lecturers programme and ended up as a curator,Md Nor join teachers programme,Fauzin when to TV3 and became a set director and myself when to Japan and became a designer. All are active painters in the KL art scene until today except myself working actively the other way around.

It was the inside cover photo of an exhibition by the very young artist at that very particular time.Opening ceremony by Menteri Belia dan Sukan at that time Dato' Seri Mohd Najib Tun Razak. Location was the old National Art Gallery extra new Building.There was a poetry,a song by a guitarist,a dance,talks and maybe some 'makan-makan' as usual. Introduction in the leaflet was made by the ...Normah Nordin and the late Ismail Zain and the prolific artist Fauzan Omar. All are great person who really carve a niche in the Malaysian art scene.

"Over the last one year or so, one coulddiscern a sense of restlessness which at timews vexed to sheer exasperation,particularly in Hasnul Jamal and Taufik.

Fauzin and Md Nor on the other hand,are less prone to betraying their emotion.

Evidently, this has little or nothing to do with the obvious lack of job prospect for new fine art graduates.

Deep inside their heart, they know they have the tenacity to subsist by the odd jobs

until they find...................
..........................

But critically , they do not quite see why art had to be relegatedto the level of commodity alone and not art for art............"- BY ISMAIL ZAIN.

Well!that was a very good question though.

Ismail Zain really know our feeling at that time.But come to think of it, that it was so idealist of us at that time or can I say so naive?Maybe nowadays,our Mr Curator can elaborate further more on this matter. We were very young at that time and yet so idealistic about art for art sake.

Little that we realised that......, and when time past by and as we mature

by now..... art is... actually a comodity since human know how to paint and even if

we hate it or not.....art is...... for the society....... within it.

So gang!!!,can we install a 2009 version of The 4 Perception??.....

Come on... the 4 of us.Lets take a visit to Normah Nordin....

The Night Dreams Vision-Playing with Ferns & Colours.

2008-02-01T16:45:00.000-08:00

It was many years ago since I used Batik as a medium.Mixed media and mixing the technical itself is the most interesting part of playing with the colours.It was like trying to control the uncontrol effect of Batik,we want it to flow but at the same time controlling its flows. No wax was used. Material is not a question.Anything goes.

Hard to get what you want but when it is enough,well!! its enough. OK! Fine...

You can feel the flow,you touch it and it can go beyond your control but you will think that it deserve to go overflow as it is what we call 'art'. Isn't it??After overnight you will see the result..... but...the result believe it or not looks like you,feels like you and it does not sound like ......

Ehh..??!!where do I hear this similar phrase!!! From the justice dept...maybe?

Anyhow this was a therapy session and it cures and heal the tempting heart for years to come.While doing it you lost in time.Half dreams and half awake and after you get enough of it you just suddenly stop.....

Then, it will take years and years again when suddenly you feel like its came creeping into your blood, into your head,crushing your brains,sleepless night....pushing your own hand to touch the stagnant brushes.Like

a drug addict controlling the addiction.Yelling Wow Oooh! the mood is coming again!!..

The mood is coming again!

Wow..!!Have you been there lately???

Clay Pottery Making Under The Starfruit Tree.

2008-01-28T17:53:00.000-08:00

Beberapa tahun yg lalu sekitar tahun 2000,tiba-tiba saja aku diserang perasaan ingin sangat nak buat pasu tanah liat sendiri.Setelah 11 tahun dalam bidang fine porcelain.Akhirnya teringin nak try test buat sendiri.Kalau boleh dengan kos yg paling minima!Simple but manageable.

Masa student dulu aku ambil pottery sebagai subject elective tapi firing dan glazing tuu pakai

perkakas dept pottery punya jadi taklah berapa kick.Masa kerja pulak, aku cuma suruh saja,everything org lain yang buatkan. So this time rasa nak buat everything sendiri,with my own barehand.Pembantu kena adalah jugak!

Aku bersama 2 orang rakan pun mulalah membuat dapur atau gok atau kiln betul-betul bawah

pokok Belimbing yang sudah tua di Kg. Bunut Payung.Dapur tuu diperbuat daripda bata merahbersalut dengan tanah beris bercampur lumpur.Bentuknya macam busut anai-anai.Mula-mula testing bakar dapur jadi retak merkah!Fikir punya fikir,tanya punya tanya... akhir dapat maklumat yang mengatakan mamak yang jual roti nan buat dapur pakai tanah campur air gula.Kami pun test... resultnya pun jadi OK!

Nak buat mesin pembancuh pula terpaksa beli motor dan ubah buat frame besi,belanja dekatRM 1000.00 barulah beres projek ni..Tanah liat pula satu lori RM 70.00 daripada Gunong.Yang hebatnya... tanah liat yang 70.00 ringgit ini sampai sekarang tak habis-habis.Sebabnya ...ini projek part time lover. Ada masa buat........ takda masa sejuk beku macam ais.Berbulan tak sentuh langsung.Sibuk!....maklum sajalah. Alasan......!?

Walaupun sejak bebudak lagi aku dah main tanah liat tapi dia punya thrill !!! Memang macambudak-budak jugaklah...Seronok tak tau nak habag!!Macam therapy...masalah hilang bila start main tanah liat.All problem gone with the wind! Sama macam buat painting dan jugak memancing.Banyak jugak design pasu yg aku dah buat.Ada jugak yang kena beli.Bila laku tuu..

seronok aje feelnya....

Koleksi-koleksi ini hanyalah sebahagian saja,yg lain tuu... aku letak kat kedai di Berek 12.

TRANSLATION IN ENGLISH.

Few years back in year 2000,I was suddenly hijacked by the feeling and urging sense

to create clay pottery again.After 11 years in fine porcelain business,the urge came in pushing

me to touch and play with the dirt.This time,with minimum spending and manageable cost.

I just jump in.......

During my student days in art school, I just take pottery class as an elective subject only.

All material and firing was done and provided by using school equipment,so it is not that thrill!!!

Same goes in the factory, while working....everything was done by somebody else while

you simply just give instruction and they'll do it for you. That is the case,so...this time I will

do it with my own barehand.... after all those years.

Nevertheless assistance was also on hand...

Two of my friends gladly offer their help in starting making the kiln.The kiln foundation was

done right under the old starfruit three at Bunut Payung village.It was made by bricks and layer of dirt and sand in the form of ant hill.

Right after the first firing,the kiln starts cracking and the walls loosing its grip.We just

start asking around on how to fix it and found out that the old Indian Bakery who used

to make the bread was using melted sugar mixed with sand as to make the wall tougher.

We copy it, and walla!!!the result came out with flying colours.

2nd, is the mixer,I had to cashed RM 1000.00 just to create a nice mixer with metal frame,

easy and small for handling.Also spend just RM 70.00 to buy dirt cheap natural clay more

than 7 tons in one big truck. Guess what??? The clay last until today and never really depleted

because my burning drive only last for a few month and then stop. Re start again and then

stop again.. off an on.That is why the clay never really finish....

Anyhow, since I was a kid, the idea of playing with a clay was like a dream came true, a thrill

of great sensation.There is not even a word can explain the moment you start touching the clay, you play around, and as a kid before this... you just never know how to explain it.

Actually it is like a therapy session.All problems really gone with the wind..just like when you do paintings or maybe go fishing...hmmm..

There is few design which I thought was beautifully executed,some of the good piece was sold

and I felt real good about it.The picture taken here was just few of the pieces and

the rest of the item I just put it in a shop nearby...... at Berek 12.

Walk In The Stream After Ismail Zain.

2008-01-22T16:48:00.000-08:00

Ismail Zain atau panggilan mesranya yang biasa dipanggil 'Pak Mail' oleh ramai student dan juga pensyarah adalah Tuan Guru yang terulung pernah mengajar aku Drawing di Fine Art School dulu. Dia juga aku kategorikan sebagai The Grand
Master Artist Of Malaysia who was once upon a time had taught me how to really draw.Aku akan sentiasa menganggapnya sebagai Legenda yang terhebat di Malaysia dalam Seni Tampak.

Orangnya sederhana,bersuara serak-serak basah 'husky',garau bukan sembarangan,penuh dengan enigmanya yang tersendiri.Tapi aku ni...pulak agaknya antara anak-anak muridnya yang tak berapa jadi kot?!

Dalam studio,ada sekali tuu... tatkala mula briefing pasal drawing,tiba-tiba suaranya
terhenti,menghala mukanya ke pintu dan terus dia keluar dari studio.Senyap & terchengang kami!Mana pulak dia nak pergi...
sebentar kemudian ada rakan bagi tau.. dia tengah relax minum kat kantin tingkat bawah!

Ada sekali tu,bila kami tak bagi respon dengan soalan-soalannya,kami terus dichop
sebagai kambing aqiqah.Dungu!Selamba!! Senang!!!bila-bila pun kasi tarik dan sembelih.....
Aduh!!! adoi...kami ni..macam art student nii = kambing Qeqah...padan muka kami!

Ada waktunya sekali tuu..dia menunjukkan
nat dengan lukisan aku sambil menyatakan
"ini dah OK!Kalau hempas pintu studio kuat-kuat pun tak jatuh!!! Aku
pun ter????? Agaknya dia puji aku kot???

Aku juga pernah ke kebun buahnya somewhere kat Negeri Sembilan rasanya?!!
Bermalam di pondok kat tepi sungai,berbual pasal seni,pokok pisang,durian,sungai,durian,
sungai, ikan dan macam-macam lagi.Ada jugak sekali-sekala bermalam dirumahnya di Ampang sambil duduk atas 'kusyen tukang gunting rambut' koleksinya.Puan Wairah pun ada jugak sekali sekala melayan kami.Syokk......nya...waktu-waktu macam tuu!Setianya aku waktu itu persis anak murid mengaji di sekolah pondok. Oooii...dapat berkat tok guru...! !!

Dia jugalah yang bersungguh-sungguh menyuruh aku dan Hasnul menggunakan namanya
untuk mendapatkan bisnes tatkala aku mula membuka Art & Design Services atau NNT
di Damansara.Katanya "anak saya make a lot of money....guna nama sayala!..tak apa!!..."
Akhirnya dapat jugak kami bisnes rekaset pentas di KL CityHall ketika itu.Tok Guru punya pasal....kira OK!la...

Ada sekali tu...di awal mengenalinya aku memberanikan diri menyuarakan pandangan aku tentang karyanya Al-Rumi sekitar tahun1986-87 semasa pameran seni Digitalnya yang terulung.Dalam keriuhan majlis,aku mendekatinya sambil berkata "ada persimmon bersama-sama manggis".Dia hanya mengangguk tanda setuju.Terus aku selamba dan direct meminta maksud kata-kata Al-Rumi "I have lived on the lip of insanity wanting to know reason,knocking on a door ..............Its open,I've been knocking from the inside" memohon diberitahu. "Hmm..someday you will......." sambil berlalu melayani tetamu-tetamu kehormat yang lain. Makna dan Icon dalam karya Ismail Zain memang hebat walaupun ketika itu Digital printing nya terlalu sederhana yang juga membawa pengertian tersendirinya.

Ironinya,kata-kata Al-Rumi inilah yang bertahun-tahun menghambat aku mencari maknanya
di perantauan.Bayangkan tercari-cari maknanya sepertimana aku yang mudanya ketika itu menyusuri makna- makna kehidupan.Namun tatkala aku di Mexico dulu, suatu hari aku tersentak bangun dari separuh tidur.Terkejutnya aku!Makna kata-kata Al Rumi tiba-tiba berada didepan mata.
Terus rasa tak sabar ingin menaliponnya memberitahu bahawa aku telah menemui maknanya
kata-kata Al Rumi itu. Aku terus call rakanku Hasnul yang ketika itu berada di Albany New York, ingin bertanya khabar Pak Mail dan.........alangkah terkejut dan kecewanya aku bila
di beritahu yang Pak Mail baru saja meninggal dunia. Frustnya aku!The Iconographer had
passed away!!Damn it !!!?3*@........... terkilannya aku tak sempat nak bagi tahu dia.....

Lalu teringat lagi pada koleksi tulisannya dalam DEWAN BUDAYA yang aku collect dulu-dulu.Entah kemana perginya...??I still miss this guy so much and so dearly until today.
Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat keatas rohnya.Amin...
TRANSLATION IN ENGLISH.
Ismail Zain or 'Pak Mail' as called by all art student was a very passionate lecturer and was also a great master whom had taught me on how to really draw.I also categorised him as The Grand Master Artist Of Malaysia.I will also consider him as the great legend in Malaysian Visual Art History.
A simple guy with husky voice but full of enigma.As for him.... I am maybe one of his not so finished student.Maybe??
Once upon a time.... early in the morning, while giving us a briefing in a drawing class, he just suddenly shut his mouth, briefly watch the door and out he go..... Leaving us quiet,dumbfounded and surprised......where did he go? ....later a friend shouted from outside that he was at the cafe...taking breakfast...
There is also time, when we were not so responding to his lecture, that he started accusing us of like a sacrificial goat which is so very easy to be sacrifise,cut and cooked and eaten...what a shame...!!
I also recalled once, he put an interest in my drawing and say that "this is enough,it wont crash even if you knocked out the door hardly". I just go numb.......is he complementing me or...??
A friend and I had also went to his orchard somewhere in NS. I guess? Sleeping in a tent near the river,talking arts, walk in the river,talk about fruit,river and then fruit again,fish and many many more subject.Sometime overnight sleep at his house in Ampang,sitting on one of his barbershop's chair collection.Puan Wairah was also around entertaining us.Nice memory though.We are the most obedient student a teacher could get!!!
He was also keenly asking us to use his name if to get any new business when Hasnul and I start Art & Design Services or NNT in Damansara.He said that his sibling made a lot of money by using his name.Well!Its true,we got our first contract to design a stage set in the KL City Centre.Master Jedi had shown his power ............
Earlier year in 1986,during his first Digital Exhibition at Balai Senilukis Negara.It was really crowded with arts enthusias at that time and I just bravely approach him by saying that "there is persimmon among the mangosteen".He just nodded.
Then I just directly inquire the meaning of Al Rumi "I have lived on the lip of reason,wanting answer,knocking on a door....It's open,I've been knocking from the inside".He just replied that "someday you will" and swiftly walking among the crowd nodding all those dignitaries.His works is really a masterpiece,simple but yet full of iconic meaning with its own deep significant.
Ironically, it was this phrases from Al Rumi that came haunting me all those years abroad,it was during my stay in Mexico ..... I just suddenly woke up from a dream realizing that I already found the meaning of the Al Rumi's words.I hurriedly call Hasnul in Albany New York assuming that he knew the contact number of Ismail Zain.Sadly I was told that Ismail Zain just passed away.......
It was so damn frustrating..... the Icon had gone away and I .....I used to collect his writing in Dewan Budaya's magazine and just dont know where it is ....now....!!
I still miss this guy so much and so dearly until today.May God Bless His Soul.....Amen.

My Versatile Spanish Guru & Master Artist/Sculptor

2008-01-21T23:13:00.000-08:00

Lucas Miguez, nama ini aku dengar semenjak aku mula-mula menjejakkan kakiku dibumi Jepun lagi.Rakan-rakan sekerja berbangsa Jepun dan pengurus yang pernah bekerja di Taiwan kadang-kadang bercerita tentang beliau seorang yang sangat peramah tetapi berani,cepat tetapi teliti. A real artist,kata mereka.

Aku seringkali mendengar dengan teliti apa yang mereka perkatakan.Semacam ada rasa cemburu tetapi hormat daripada kata-kata mereka,walaupun pada ketika itu aku ni...belumlah fasih sangat berbahasa Jepun.Tak pulak aku sedari pada waktu itu yang pada satu hari nanti orang yang bernama Lucas ini akan menjadi mentorku untuk beberapa tahun.

Pada aku, setelah mengenalinya sekian lama,orangnya memang hebat.Bayangkanlah

sebuah arca figurine 12 inci dari tanah liat dengan detailnya sekali boleh dibuat dalam

masa 6 jam sahaja.Sedangkan aku mengambil masa hampir dua minggu.Canoe daripada kayu jugak dibuat dalam masa tak sampai sebulan.

Alangkah bertuahnya

aku dan kawan-kawan di Fine Art dulu kalau ada Master Sculptor yang macam dia.

Mesti ramai yang akan major dalam Sculpture taklah macam aku yang terkontang kanteng

2 orang saja yang ambil sculpture sebagai major study.

Kalau bab melukis....tersangatlah detailnya dan sangat halus gayanya.

Aaa..by the way gambar kat atas tu aku ambil masa bercuti sambil camping di Big Ben National Park dekat Texas.Cantik sangat... Prairie,Desert dan Cactus di musim bunga...tempat tuu..

memang...tak tau nak habag!!

TRANSLATION IN ENGLISH.

Eversince I arrived in Japan,the name Lucas Miguez kept creeping up on conversation with my Japanese colleague and bosses.There seems to be air of respect when the name is mentioned. He was a real genuine artist as I was told frequently.

Very often I just listen quietly as I am still new and not really fluent and understand the Japanese language yet.But from my observation, I can feel that there is also jealousy but yet respect in most of their intonation.Living in a foreign country,sometime body language observation can also interpret on what they are talking about.

Little that I knew,someday I will got to know him in person first hand.The person himself was then to be my boss and my mentor for almost three years.

After really knowing him,it is true that this guy was also a great multi talented artist.as a sculptor, he can finish a single clay figurine just in 6 hours whereby it will take me two weeks to finish one piece of sculpture.He is also capable of doing a beautiful wooden canoe in just one month time.

If only he was there during my student days, all my friends would really really glad to take sculpture as their major study.When he's doing seketches or drawing,it was meticulously

rendered with details and was very well finished......

Oh...Well! the photo of him above was actually taken during our camping trip to Big Ben National Park in Texas.The desert scenery park was so beautiful.....during spring time even though it is

very damn cold at night.What a place.....!!....